My solution? I just play Kogmaw in Ranked games and laugh.
I wish I had the same case. In my games, no one wants to be a tank, then gets mad that while I as kog cannot attack anyone more then once before attempting to kite because my front line is dead.
Yeah in Bronze IV, that's going to be a problem.
Whenever I play Kog I specifically ask my team to build peelers. You need an Alistar/Chogath/Xin Zhao/Shen/Janna, etc. type lineup to really do well as Kogmaw. That doesn't mean that you can't win without that, but it definitely helps.
http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=3147839&highlight=wingflierI made a guide for escaping Elo Hell. Most of the time the game is won at champion select, so encourage your teammates to pick good counters and/or complement your own carry. I'm sure you deserve a much better rating than that. Unfortunately, Riot's MM system doesn't reward skill, it rewards playing the system. It's much more about what happens before the game even starts.
In terms of Udyr, I disagree that his only build involves Phoenix. In fact, of the times I've watched him used in pro streams, and in ranked games, Phoenix isn't even taken. Phoenix is probably his worst stance. It clears jungle quickly, but Udyr is a crap jungle now because he's so easily kited. In top lane all you need are your first 3 stances. Tiger is great for harass, Bear is good for the stun, and Turtle if you get engaged/ganked. That's all you need. Phoenix is just going to push the lane and make you extremely vulnerable to jungle ganks. Tiger form does more damage in a shorter amount of time, while giving you a crapton of attack speed to boot. With some good damage items like Triforce or Wits End, you can take full advantage of this.
I still think Udyr is viable in top lane, against certain teams. He's much less viable now than he used to be with every new champion having some ridiculous escape mechanism which makes gap closing impossible (Ahri, Jayce, Khazix, Elise, Rengar). The more champions they add with escape mechanisms, obviously the less useful Udyr becomes. Having said that, he's really strong against many melee tops such as Jax, Irelia, and especially Lee Sin, who can't do ANYTHING to him (it's actually hilarious). He plays a lot like a Nidalee top in that he just stays in the lane forever and split pushes. If you try to stop him he just Bear/Turtle forms away, making him extremely hard to gank. It gets to a point that successfully killing him becomes a huge resource investment that isn't worth the cost, so you just have to let him farm and push until he's huge.
Udyr, in addition to escape mechanisms, is also very susceptible to CC. People are going to slow/stun/kite you all day long if they can. This makes me wonder how Cleanse would work on him. Typically Cleanse isn't that popular on bruisers but I'm not sure why. Top lane is almost always against a bruiser, so you want to get Ninja Tabi instead of Mercury Treads. Ninja Tabi are also much better lategame than are Mercury Treads, if you can find a way to make up for the lack of % CC Reduction. With Cleanse you can go full tank build (including Ninja Tabi), and still be much harder to kite in a fight. Sure, giving up Ignite means you might lose a few kills in the laning phase, but Ignite gets worse as the game goes on, Cleanse is ALWAYS useful. I take Cleanse on Jax for this very reason, and I'm so much stronger lategame than if I had taken Ignite.