Sixth month, 3063
Thoraxian population: 60,930 mRight.
Problem #1: Skylaxian depressionSorted.
Problem #2: Every pirate in the solar systemThese guys finally got a grip and started attacking my manufacturing station. They'd already defeated my security goons. Well, criminal underbelly, taste the other criminal underbelly!
Welcome to the black market. We have many goods and criminals. With a new force of mercenaries protecting the station, I charged the pirate horde and was beaten back. With hired scientists at my call, I strengthened my ship in a flash. With the mercenaries fighting the pirates, the station was out of immediate danger, so I did nothing with my new guns and went off to play politics.
Problem #3: Slacker HydralThe Peltians didn't have the resources for my meddling program. The parts that I did build were drawing Evuck ire.
...meh. They'd keep.
Problem #4: The Burlusts are still dyingThe Skylaxian senate went to work, and the Skylaxian and Andor races were joined in the Federation for the noble purposes of solar unity and upsetting the Burlusts.
Panic building was rife across the solar system as the impact left the Thoraxian threat in the dust. Some races dug in their heels, others bolstered their armies. This showed no sign of stopping as I brought in the Peltians. With this new way to militarize the Burlusts
even further, their numbers began to rise.
It's worth talking about the goal of the game, now that it's on the board. The Skylaxians, Andors, and Peltians are still separate races, run their own planets, and have their own foreign relations. However:
- The Federation prevents internal wars. This alone makes it worthwhile.
- External wars are no longer private affairs. A war with any Federation member will constantly damage relations with all of them, and with me. I will NOT want to grow the Federation as fast as possible, or the solar system may tear itself apart. I'm rearranging the map here. I need to do it with politics in mind, and I need to steer politics with growing the Federation in mind.
- By default, being in the Federation provides development aid. Some races can also take it upon themselves to strengthen their friendly co-members, some others can do diplomatic work.
- Federation members will share technology if they like each other enough. The Peltians were greeted with a rush of new tech that I didn't have but the Skylaxians did.
- Anti-Federation sentiment will begin building up. Citizens can turn into demonstrators, who can turn into insurgents, who can attack me and turn into cash and valuable prizes. This is connected to my actions: this one time I blew up a planet, and half of an entire race fled into space to become pirates rather than stay in my Federation. It was great, just the sort of radical readjustment of politics that should follow a radical readjustment of the number of planets.
- I can't steal space stations from members.
- The Federation is my child, and what I do reflects on it. The member races might leave the Federation if I abuse them too much.
Problem #5: Abusing the SkylaxiansThis was a riot, and it might cause some too! The Skylaxians came under the threat of a massive bioterrorist attack, a threat planned in their top-security orbiting prison. There'd be no government backing on this one. Either I'd blast my way to their private facility and kill everyone there, or half their race would die.
Balls.Victory!
Problem #6: BoarinesThe Thoraxians found themselves on the solar stage, with holographic stations broadcasting adventure stories to appease the Boarines, sports broadcasts to appease the peaceful Andors and Peltians, philosophical academies to appease the sports-hating Evucks, and confectioneries to appease the Burlusts. The solar stage bears much resemblance to a quicksand pit.
Problem #7: Problem #2Now. Full disclosure. I caused the next mess by accident while I was playing around with the save file, not recording, as it were, this update. But the plans I had would've caused it by accident in the update proper, and this is just too stupid to miss, so instead of changing plans I'm going to cause it anyway.
What I'll do next will be a problem. Possibly the second worst thing I could do aside from comedy options like "Assassinate Hive Queen." (Comedy option may not be comedy in your game. Ask your ship AI if regicide is right for you.)
I'm going to get the Evucks into the Federation.
Boom.Forget causing alarm, the Federation was now important enough to make enemies. The Union of Independent States bound the Acutians, Boarines, and Burlusts together under the noble goal of not being in my alliance. My place as spokesman would be a constant strain of my relations with the Acutians and Boarines, but the UIS would stay polite with the Federation's member states as long as no member of the Federation was fighting any member of the UIS.
Oh, hey, the Evucks.
Now, the Evucks place just worse than average on the bastard track.
They don't hate you, but they'd prefer if you didn't speak to them and stood over there. Farther. No, farther. They will trade, however reluctantly, and admit the gains from associating with the others. But any deals with the Evuck Elders, even just aiding them, will be treated as unwelcome meddling. Getting them to agree to a three-year truce cost me an arm and a leg.
Like with the Federation, war with any member with the UIS was a problem with them all. It was even more expensive to reach a break in the Thoraxian-Burlust war before the Burlusts could drag them all down into the crushing jaws of the hive. I finally got the opportunity to use the resources and rare items I'd gathered throughout the years. Unfortunately, I used them by franctically throwing them at the black market until I had enough cash to buy off the Hive Queen.
Fortunately, the devs have added a way to deal with the UIS without multiple genocide. If its members were to despise each other more than talk of the Federation, the UIS would fracture and eventually fall. And guess who had just spent years manipulating opinions? The Acutians paid me well for my Trojan: help in establishing exports and culture that would gradually drive away the Boarines and Burlusts.
The next six years passed in a rush to raise the money to stamp out the war when it re-ignited. I made a profit on hunting pirates and spent a lot of time in property development. I flew joint combat missions with the Thoraxians to destroy pirate bases in the asteroid and ice belts. This was always a delight - I'd get paid to take the mission, then for destroying enemy ships and stations, and then for returning the pilots I'd picked up to their governments. If I'd had the time, I would've gone with
a race that was getting too strong the Thoraxians, farted around while their ships were destroyed, and then swooped in to complete the mission.
The next set of truces didn't cost too many of my possessions. The Boarines seceded before they expired. During this time I did some (paid) work on Evuck-Burlust relations. I couldn't use the old stand-by of sweets exports - they disgusted the Evucks - but there was a way around that.
DEPLOY THE HOLOPORN!
This is one of the more surreal parts of The Last Federation. I used it in a previous game to try to ingratiate a race to an attacker. Imagine, if you will, war survivors living in their bombed-out city when a guy with four heads lands his spaceship and starts setting up studios for
Debbie Does Deneb. Anyway, this wasn't a stable setup - it'd cause increasing problems with the Peltians - but potent.
Within these six years I also improved my flagship and held speeches in the Andor parliament that put their pacifier party in power (and at my disposal). This was complacency - when the Evucks and the Thoraxians attacked the Burlusts again, I could only stop the Evucks.
For the next six months I threw myself against the pirates and destroyed about a third of their bases. It didn't net me nearly enough, but then the Burlusts seceded, having done only minor damage to the others' relations with the Thoraxian death machine. I used the money to remove my destructive influence on Acutian society, after building them a few things that'd slowly let relations heal.
Toothpaste, tubes, et cetera.
The Boarine regent of the time still looked outward, and that could be a very valuable thing. I got her support (and she got her fees) in bringing the Evucks and Burlusts closer together, and the truce turned into peace.
All was well.
A long time passed, but there's not much more to tell. The war went on as it always had. The Burlust world was in a sad state, but they didn't flirt with extinction again. With my social engineering about done, I took to building hospitals and universities for cash. I once spent three years on a research project with the Boarines, and the Evucks completed it a month before us. The Boarines and Burlusts inched back to speaking terms with the Acutians, and even the Peltians' objections to Evuck tastes were muted by the ongoing trade.
I armored my ship with everything the living races had, and worked with them to develop a few things more. Then I systematically destroyed the pirate empire, and became richer than I'd been in the days before the UIS. In the early thirty-sixties, I put the minor Andor federationist party in power before realizing that I didn't need to. I visited the Boarines. Their race was thriving and their newly installed regent, Specimen 3051, was another supporter of solar unity. With some spending on my part the Boarine race soon joined the Federation. I then took to the Skylaxian senate, and their decades in the cuddle pile led to the Acutians joining.
Aside from an Acutian mass escape to space, it went over well. I was feeling jovial and had the outgoing Andor pacifiers get who they could into settling on the Andor homeworld instead of taking up piracy. Then I spent considerably more to have the Andors arrange a truce in the Thoraxian-Burlust war (yet still less than it would've cost to go to the Hive Queen - Andors really are the Swiss army knife of the system). Seven months' work and still more spending got the Boarine regent to run interference for me: she smoothed relations enough that I could deal with the Burlusts without offending the Thoraxians.
I turned over every bit of valuable resources that I still had over to the Burlusts. I gave them a suite of valuable civic technologies that they'd missed out on, and when that wasn't enough, better guns. This didn't come close to solving the old hatred, but it was enough to get the ear of the prime warlord.
I repatriated the 189 Burlust pilots I'd picked up, and gave him a set of unscannable handheld phasers. (He also would've accepted some
really fine teak.) I pointed out the gap between his feeble fleets and the combined Federation armada, and the Burlusts joined the Federation. When I left they were merely disgusted with me. I ran to the Skylaxians to invite the Thoraxians.
And then they were safe. All of them.