Ok, a bit of an update to this:
The more I mess with the game, the more I'm convinced that this is a really major issue. Alot of getting federations started seems to be luck, based on what the simulation and RNG does. Typically, if a given race has started doing something, or they have some event going that's screwing with the RCI, or whatever, the effects I can have on those things, regardless of method, are so weak/slow that they simply do nothing.
I've restarted the game multiple times, experimenting as I go, and it takes very little time before I reach a point where I've run out of strategic options that will actually DO something, making "wait and see" the only true effective option. Needless to say, this isnt very interesting.
For example, in my current game I decided to work on getting the Evucks and Acutians going into a Federation. At the start I had a few options.... start a trade route, stuff like that. Very quickly, the Evuck planetary situation went bonkers and just started falling apart. There is *nothing* I can do about this. Nowhere in the game is there any action I could take that could make even the slightest dent in the plummeting RCI values, among other things. It doesnt help that they've got a 200-month long negative event going on that I can also do nothing about.
The Acutians are a whole other issue; as they and the Skylaxians do sometimes, they are going out of control with sheer power... and again, I cant do anything to halt them. I have enough influence that I could take hostile actions to slow them down without making them loathe me, but the actions I can take are all pretty weak and will only very briefly slow them down. They simply advance WAY faster than I could do damage. Even with weaker races, this is typically the case.
Political actions tend to be too weak, having minor effects over time. Dispatches tend to be too slow, requiring absurd amounts of time before they really do much; only research and sometimes construction are worth doing. All of the other dispatches seem pretty useless most of the time. And of course with the political stuff, I cant even do that if I dont have the influence... and if there are no techs to give, and no pirate bases to crush, getting influence is very slow, which further weakens the effectiveness of most political actions, particularly if I've needed to do anything hostile at all, or anything that lowered influence, since those tend to have very heavy penalties. The super-slow influence gain can make political options worthless, as by the time you can use them, it's much too late for them to be of much help.
And that's just in my current game. Every other game I've started didn't take long at all before I hit this point. One way or another, the player's options/actions need to DO something more than they currently are. Situations spiral out of control quickly, but unlike with combat, the player's actions do not grow stronger or more effective as the game progresses. Only research/building is an exception, but these are nowhere near effective enough simply by themselves, and it's hard to target these at any specific situation to work on it. That being said, buildings/research ARE actively effective once done.... the numbers on these seem closer to the proper balance overall. Much much closer. I think this fact is important. To me it's one of the reasons why the tech/building mechanics are so good: Because when used, they feel like they have real IMPACT, that you're accomplishing something with them. But much more is needed than just these. If other options were brought up to be more in line with these, it'd help ALOT. THough, of course, some techs/buildings are REALLY powerful, and it's not like political/dispatches all need to be crazy strong, but still, being closer to that type of balance would be very good.
Currently I'm holding off on playing further until something changes... with my lack of patience I very quickly lose interest in any strategy title if a point when there's either too few options or too much "stand around and wait" occurs, and this is currently doing both at once very heavily. The balance is just too messed up. Combat is still very interesting, but it's of little use on the solar map itself, aside from dealing with outposts. I can understand that overpowering things could be a definite issue... it would shorten the playtime of each game, and for a game like this, that'd rather suck. But it isnt much fun if a good chunk of that playtime is waiting/hoping for something to happen that gives you an opportunity to really DO something.
Of course, if anyone has some overall tips, or thoughts on what I may be doing wrong, by all means, lemme know. But so much experimenting so far always leads to this same result, even with me trying wildly different tactics each time. And of course, the core reason I brought this up in the first place remains true, which is that new players seem to be still getting this same impression.