"Tutorials are a fatal error. I guess that's something that still has to happen. Time to restart."
"How do I make this thing move? Cool, WASD works."
"How do I shoot? There's probably a controls settings screen somewhere. Oh, I have a mouse. That shoots."
"There are some things that look like doors. Nice, there are new rooms."
"Is this a keycard? Why didn't the keycard count go up? Oh, credits."
"Yay! Baddies. Now I can shoot things that aren't made of glass."
"Oops, I guess shops don't exist yet. Hello friendly red text."
"It looks like these tiles should be breakable, but I can't break them. Oh well."
"There are enemies behind these tiles I can't seem to break."
"Huh, I managed to break one somehow and I don't know how. I can't do it again."
"I wonder how I use this item in the bottom right. Maybe I should check the controls at some point."
"Okay, this is a boss. It doesn't seem too hard. Maybe because I'm playing on Very Easy."
"Floor 2/5, I guess this means I have three more after this one."
"More things behind these unbreakable tiles. I still can't break them."
"I wonder if it's worth trying to find a cheap controller for this sort of game."
"Wow, I can zoom out. That makes things much easier. I can see the things that are shooting at me now!"
"There *must* be some reliable way to break these things. Too much stuff is behind them."
"What was that? Did I accidentally hit a button? Oh, 'f'. That's what missiles are."
"YAY! Missiles break those unbreakable tiles! ALL THE LOOT SHALL BE MINE!"
"I should probably write these thoughts up before I forget them."
"Mmm, supper was delicious."
"Why is this forum editor weird? Why can't I type markup anymore? Screw it, I'll copy/paste from emacs."