4. The blacking out and all that stuff is just a matter of accumulated stress more than anything else. It's not any one thing, it's just a matter of too long a period of too much intensity on one thing. I should be back in good form after the hiatus, and people don't need to worry about my health. If there's something amiss, I'll do something to try to address that. I have an anxiety disorder as well as severe PTSD (dating back decades), and some of that gets triggered sometimes around releases. Therapy and medication have been helping over the last years, although some of the medication comes with nasty side effects. I think the blacking out was related partly to one of those that I started taking in March and have stopped taking in the last week. We'll see. Originally I got on that because I was having low-grade panic attacks literally all day every day, and that solved that issue. But lots of other problems went with. EMDR did work pretty well for some of the stuff, but I'm giving neurofeedback a shot now. We shall see. Anyway, the point is a lot of that has absolutely nothing to do with testers or specific feedback, and I try not to be a pansy about how I receive news I don't want to hear. It's important to be able to take criticism, and if I ever hit a point where I'm dissuading people from "giving it to me straight," I'm only doing myself and the games a disservice in the end.
As someone else who suffers from PTSD and chronic stress/anxiety symptoms on a daily basis, I definitely understand what you're going through.
Sometimes the best solution is to just put your life on hold and deal with your own mental and emotional health, but unfortunately that doesn't seem like much of an option for you. Sadly, sometimes these mental problems boil under the surface for countless years, and by the time they have been recognized, one already has too many life responsibilities to adequately address them in a relaxed, stress-free environment.
Just wanted to let you know that you're not the only person in the forums suffering through this.
Buddhist philosophy/psychology has been one of the major motivating factors that has allowed me to survive through this daily trauma, and one thing it teaches is that the ego is the source of all our problems. You've made a point several times in the last couple days that you were beginning to attach your own self-worth to the outcome of this game, and it's good that you recognize the danger of that tendency.
I wish you the best Chris, take care of yourself.