@Peons: I definitely like what you have written, although it is extremely wordy. That could be a nice trait for the Zenith in terms of them being long-form and thoughtful, but I wouldn't want it for any other race, and that's pushing the patience of what the player can tolerate (and what can fit in the allotted screen box) a bit already. Keeping these closer to tweet-length or a bit more is a good idea. But conceptually those are great.
@Watashiwa: One thing to remember is that these are all written in the voice of the computer, speaking in kind of a dry fashion. Granted, he's going to change his manner some based on who he is talking TO, so having him reference kisses and boo boos is pretty hilarious and works well for me. But he shouldn't be talking like a kid -- he should be talking TO a kid, although let's not go too completely overboard with it. Moderation should serve that really well, and the kisses and boo boos bit had me really laughing.
Anyhow, there are other places where the races directly speak, but not on this spreadsheet. Here the computer narrator is talking about what they are doing.