Arcen Games

Games => Stars Beyond Reach... This World Is Mine => Topic started by: x4000 on October 06, 2015, 09:16:15 PM

Title: New description for the game.
Post by: x4000 on October 06, 2015, 09:16:15 PM
In other news, I've completely rewritten our vastly-outdated marketing materials: http://store.steampowered.com/app/354480

I went with something that is exceptionally brief and hopefully very interesting in the first section, and then warn people about all the incoming text after that, and then go into huge amounts of detail.  That's something I did with AI War back when it was new, and it worked extremely well with our particular audience.  Being brief is important, but then I also think that having that longer-form "no, really, what makes this stand out though?" bit is also really important.

If anyone has any comments on things I might have messed up or could explain better or whatever on there, please do let me know.  And yes I know the screenshots are incredibly ancient, but I figure that there's not much point updating them until we have the new HUD cleaned up fully.  It's laid out at this point, but not prettified yet.
Title: Re: New description for the game.
Post by: xaid on October 06, 2015, 09:36:50 PM
Hi Chris,

I noticed a small typo in the description. It says citybuildier instead of citybuilder.
Title: Re: New description for the game.
Post by: madcow on October 07, 2015, 11:47:22 AM
The act descriptions are a little jarring. It switches between first and second person perceptive a which is a little odd. I would suggest going with one style and sticking to it.

Also the line "pretty cool stuff actually" before the act 1 description feels out of place, like you're surprised it's cool! I would suggest axing it completely.

This is spoken from somebody without any gameplay, I've only been semi-following development so it'll be fresh when I finally dive into it.
Title: Re: New description for the game.
Post by: crazyroosterman on October 07, 2015, 12:14:41 PM
perhaps on the pretty cool stuff actually I would change it to its pretty cool stuff the actually part is weird and feels like it snuck on to the end of that sentence.
Title: Re: New description for the game.
Post by: gnosis on October 08, 2015, 12:03:05 AM
The act descriptions are a little jarring. It switches between first and second person perceptive a which is a little odd. I would suggest going with one style and sticking to it.

Also the line "pretty cool stuff actually" before the act 1 description feels out of place, like you're surprised it's cool! I would suggest axing it completely.

This is spoken from somebody without any gameplay, I've only been semi-following development so it'll be fresh when I finally dive into it.

Agree this need some more work! choose one style and be consistent.
Title: Re: New description for the game.
Post by: dfinlay on October 08, 2015, 01:30:54 AM
The act descriptions are a little jarring. It switches between first and second person perceptive a which is a little odd. I would suggest going with one style and sticking to it.

My recommendation is definitely second person. The first person parts seem really weird to me.
Title: Re: New description for the game.
Post by: superiorx on October 13, 2015, 02:12:24 AM
In other news, I've completely rewritten our vastly-outdated marketing materials: http://store.steampowered.com/app/354480
Added to my Steam wishlist for later :)
Title: Re: New description for the game.
Post by: Coppermantis on October 13, 2015, 03:26:06 AM
Hi Chris,

I noticed a small typo in the description. It says citybuildier instead of citybuilder.

It's the citybuildiest!
Title: Re: New description for the game.
Post by: kasnavada on October 14, 2015, 08:05:34 AM
The act descriptions are a little jarring. It switches between first and second person perceptive a which is a little odd. I would suggest going with one style and sticking to it.

This.

Otherwise... the videos are at the right on my screen. Shouldn't they be first ? Is it possible to re-order them ?
Also screenshots are outdated. They should show territories =).


Otherwise, I missed a few weeks, came back because I was wondering about the (unusual) lack of frequent updates so close to release... Looks like I missed a lot. Now I have 3 games to wait for at the beginning of 2016 ?!? (yes I'm waiting for X-com 2...)