I am very sorry for your loss. I remember my grandfather. I was young and didn't quite understand. I am older now and it is still hard to understand. Maybe we just need to cry and be with friends and family and as you say, try to stay distracted. I lost my brother too, to leukemia. I know that losing them is inevitable, but still it is hard to deal with it. Some people say it makes them value life more, me it just rattled me pretty good for a bit. And it is nice to feel it means something, but it didn't make me value life more, just made me sad for a good while. Sorry, I don't me to carry on or to sound morbid, i apologize if it sounds that way. I just wanted to say i know how it feels, and its a lousy feeling. I just wanted to be supportive and just let you know all of us on the forum care for all of you.