Difference is how we approach 4x games. I turtle. I'd like to be left alone to build up and then come out like a hurricane once I hit that key tech (tanks in Civ) or feel like I have a severe tech advantage on my foes. I hardly ever use diplomacy except as means to hide myself from prying eyes.
What you want and what I want are going to be vastly different things. We don't come with the same approach at all.
Actually, that's not always true. Yes, I know, I tend to come off as hyper-aggressive in terms of how I approach.... everything, but even in something like a fighting game I'll sometimes go into total defense mode, where aggression stops almost entirely and I simply react to and try to reflect whatever is thrown at me. It definitely happens in strategy games, moreso than in action games. Actually, in a 4x, I'm more passive than aggressive; rarely do I use military measures to instigate anything. They are used to respond, or to intervene. I usually defend and manipulate, as my default state. I wait until THEY start a war; I do not start it myself (unless the situation indeed demands it, lest I lose the game entirely).
And that's the thing about it: Even playing passive and defensive, in a typical 4x there's ALWAYS stuff happening, and I still am interacting with the map, with buildings and units (there's often plenty of units that ARENT military in strategy games like this, after all; heck, Anno is a GREAT example of that one, and an example of that approach working very well, with all of it's units serving a bazillion purposes that DONT involve explosions). I'm still moving stuff around, still focusing on different stuff, still strategizing... even if I havent taken a direct action yet. There's still stuff to DO. That, not the presence of constant fighting, is what I'm getting at with all of this. Obviously plenty of players wont want to just be blasting things all the time. But they still want that involvement, and there's different types of involvement. The issue to me isnt that theres a different type of involvement here.... it's that involvement as a whole is mostly absent entirely right now.
Never played Anno. MoO 3, SotS 1/2, Civ 3/4/5 are pretty much my experience in the 4x arena.
Hmmm... how best to explain it....
Firstly, Anno (2070 being the one I'm familiar with, it can be found on Steam... HIGHLY recommended) isnt a super traditional 4x. It still has all of the "x" elements, but it doesnt do them all in quite the same way. It's actually similar in concept to SBR here; there's a city building aspect, and then an RTS aspect (not turn-based) on top of that. The citybuilding though has an extreme focus on production and use of items/goods/whatever; you're setting up some darned complicated production/assembly lines in addition to dealing with civilian housing. It's got alot of depth and there's alot to it. Kind of a nasty learning curve actually, but sooooo good.
But anyway, there arent actually all that many unit types per side. Maybe about.... 10? As opposed to there being about a bazillion different building types (*all* of which are important in some way). The game just doesnt need that many units, particularly considering the way it uses them. A couple of units on each side are not capable of combat; cargo haulers, mainly (and note, all units in the game are either boats/subs which make up the majority, or aerial, which tend to appear late-game only and not very often; there are no land units) which are used to transfer goods/whatever from wherever to wherever. But not just those; even your "military" units can do stuff like that, and indeed, this is what those units will be doing most of the time. You'll use them to transfer important special items around (as they're fast but cant carry all that much, so they're best for single items or small loads) without disturbing the constant rhythm of your haulers, you might use them to accomplish all sorts of missions, for example, going out and rescuing some people from a boat that had an accident and is sinking in the middle of the ocean (and there's ALOT of ocean), or maybe you're picking up an important scientist and taking him to where he needs to be; NONE of these particular tasks involving bullets or explosions (though obviously there are definite combat uses for them too). Your units are incredibly versatile, moreso than I see in pretty much any other game like this, and there's so many possible things you can do with them, all of which are interesting and useful.
While your goal is to somehow defeat the other characters (and there's a variety of ways to do this), moments of combat are over quickly, and not TOO common (unless Hector is around, sometimes he'll just keep pestering you, feh). You DO have to be very careful in them, as losing just one unit can REALLY hurt, and they're done well, but... yeah. They're not the main focus even though they remain important. You're given so many other things to do with the very same units that no matter what, the game keeps you feeling involved in it, keeps you doing stuff at the same time, even without explosions. It really is the best example of the concept I can think of. Though it can be a bit TOO hectic for some players, because there's always SOMETHING breaking down or going wrong, and then someone's complaining about a mission they're waiting on, and then Hector is back with his blasted boat jerks, and then suddenly you're not producing glass anymore for no apparent reason... but it's a good example nonetheless.