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Forming Shattered Haven Store Copy

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cupogoodness:
UPDATE: A new draft of the copy has been posted here: http://www.arcengames.com/forums/index.php/topic,12551.msg136866.html#msg136866

ORIGINAL: Hi guys (especially those currently alpha testing),

We're looking to rework the game's description, as well as possibly the feature list, and we'd like your help. Here's what we have posted now: http://www.arcengames.com/w/index.php/shatteredhaven-features

That's been up for months (half a year now??), so it's definitely dated. Chris, Josh, and I also agree that using the term "mildly roguelikeish" probably needs to be removed, as it's misleading for the player. It really only looks like a roguelike, but that's about it. That said, roguelike is a powerful word these days, and probably stronger than environmental puzzle game -- which is how some of us have described it in the past.

Ideally, we're looking to come up with something that both accurately describes the game, and also hooks new players in. (Once again, we've run into the conundrum of not being able to properly define one of our games.) That's the primary tweak we're focusing on, but feedback on the description and feature list as a whole is appreciated (and will be noted) as well.

Anyway, feel free to have a look at the current copy and post any suggestions that come to mind. Anything you want to see changed? Added? Removed?

tigersfan:
Thumbs up from me!

Mick:
Calling it roguelikeish is very misleading and should definitely be removed. The word got me interested in the game, but when I tried the alpha I felt that I would have felt cheated if I had bought the game under that term. Calling it an Action/Adventure/Puzzler seems much more appropriate, and is about as unroguelike as you can get. If you want to exploit gamer nostalgia, comparing it to Zelda may be more accurate.

Feature list:

"Grays aren't your typical zombies -- they have a lore all their own, and theirs is a very different sort of apocalypse than Zed's."

Uh, please excuse my bluntness, but why the **** do I care? Why is this the TOP feature listed? This doesn't really tell me anything about the gameplay of the game, it just comes off as weirdly defensive sounding and out of place.

"Environmental puzzles make up most of the gameplay.  Figure out how to use the tools, traps, and weapons in each level to clear all the Grays."

Very accurate and straight forward. Probably should be at the top.

"Follow the story of Darrell and Mary as they try to save their family from a new and unexpected threat.  Both in-game storytelling and painted-style cutscenes"

I like this reword: "Follow the story of Darrell and Mary as they try to save their family from a new and unexpected threat through in-game storytelling and painted-style cutscenes."

"Multiple endings! Depending on your actions, the story may end very poorly, happily, or somewhere in between."

I'm a bit neutral about this. Should probably go closer to the bottom. That's where endings go, the end! And how many is multiple? The cynic in me says: "Ok, it has a good, bad and middle ending, yawn."

"Over 100 hand-crafted levels. Two very experienced adventure level designers are designing the adventure from end to end."

This deserves higher billing than multiple endings. This is where the bulk of the game will be. Do you mean "beginning to end"? I would drop the word "very", it's a weasel word.

"Included level editor! The same editor used to make the main adventure will let you make your own levels, cutscenes, or even entire adventures."

Sounds good.

"Local 2-player co-op. Using two gamepads, two players on the keyboard, or any combination of the above."

No problem here.

Penumbra:
Will Shattered Haven be using Steam Workshop?

x4000:

--- Quote from: Penumbra on February 28, 2013, 09:42:42 am ---Will Shattered Haven be using Steam Workshop?

--- End quote ---

Possibly, but not right out of the gate.  I've never used the steam workshop stuff before, and don't really have time to learn it before release.  Also, before we'd do that we'd also want to see that there is actually real demand for that.  I think there will be, but I don't want to waste the better part of a week on that without having some sort of indicator of player interest in making custom adventures.

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