Author Topic: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1  (Read 132920 times)

Offline x4000

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #255 on: April 03, 2013, 11:46:07 am »
"Supplies are low.  You are stranded.  You must make it to the core in time."

"Supplies are low.  You are stranded on a distant planet.  You must stop the AI in time."

Something like that could be super strong, that's true!
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Offline Aquohn

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #256 on: April 03, 2013, 12:04:16 pm »
Hmm, doesn't quite capture the sense of desparate impossibility that the AI War tagline did (and that I found so compelling). But it's a good start.

EDIT: Oh! Oh! I think I got it. Something nice and snappy, like: "You are stranded. You are underequipped. You must save the galaxy."
« Last Edit: April 03, 2013, 12:11:56 pm by Aquohn »
Arcen in Summary:
thank you so much, RNG
It aims to please!

Or is that "to kill"?  Hmm.

Offline Vyndicu

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #257 on: April 03, 2013, 12:31:55 pm »
I have a simple cliche but get the point across pretty well.

"Hostile Jungle Environment, Human Stranded, and AI on a Warpath: Who will win in the end?"

Offline x4000

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #258 on: April 03, 2013, 12:33:42 pm »
"You are stranded. Low on everything. You must save humanity."
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Offline keith.lamothe

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #259 on: April 03, 2013, 12:53:22 pm »
"You are stranded. Low on everything. You must save humanity."
I don't really think of it as saving humanity so much as stopping the antagonist from getting away so it can destroy said humanity... but I guess that's kind of what it means.

"You are stranded. Low on everything. Humanity is in danger."

"Stranded.  Supplies critically low.  Humanity's fate in your hands."  (I thought I was doing pretty well and then aaaaarggggh cliche-poisoning!)


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Offline x4000

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #260 on: April 03, 2013, 12:57:27 pm »
"Stranded.  Supplies critically low.  You must save humanity."

It's not quite accurate in a super-literal sense on that last point, as you say, but it has punch and is the spirit of what is going on.
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Offline madcow

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #261 on: April 03, 2013, 12:59:41 pm »
If you go with the stranded, supplies are low, etc route for a tagline. Might be worthwhile to casualize it, heh. SNAFU to use the military term, though don't necessarily need to use that term specifically!

Stranded. Low supplies. Mutant locals ready to rip off your face. Just another normal day in wherever/for whoever/etc.

Offline keith.lamothe

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #262 on: April 03, 2013, 01:00:14 pm »
"Stranded.  Supplies critically low.  You must save humanity."

It's not quite accurate in a super-literal sense on that last point, as you say, but it has punch and is the spirit of what is going on.
Yea, it's not a problem in terms of accuracy.  Just wondering if there's a way we can say it that doesn't sound so cliche.

Though I guess the idea is cliche, when one comes down to it.  But it's more of a "chase something that's not particularly evil but is incredibly dangerous and you have no idea what it will do if given the opportunity" than the usual evil-overlord sorts of save-humanity situations.
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Offline x4000

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #263 on: April 03, 2013, 01:02:02 pm »
The idea has been done before, but no more so than something like "spy saves the {x}."  That description is broad enough to describe some very bad and generic movies, to some really excellent ones.
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Offline Panopticon

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #264 on: April 03, 2013, 01:25:21 pm »
Your team is stranded. Your mission is critical. Your leadership is your only chance. Will your supplies last? Will your team? Do you have what it takes to see this through?

This is where I think the focus should go on the tagline, even if what I've come up with my be cliche or terrible on it's own.

This puts the focus on the player, and hopefully gets across the point that not only is the player responsible for this super critical mission but also responsible for its execution and the lives under their command. When you talk about the Prince Roger series one of the things I really hope you are trying to capture from it is the sense of responsibility that Roger grew to feel towards his guard troops balanced with the absolute necessity to spend their lives to achieve the larger objective at hand. Big missions to save the everything are standard, especially in gaming, so we need to focus on what makes this one different, and unless I've been reading this wrong thematically, I think that's where you'll find it. Not many games put a face on the guys you send to their deaths, and rarely are these troops your most limited and valuable resource, and in Roger's case, his closest friends and companions.

Offline keith.lamothe

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #265 on: April 03, 2013, 01:28:31 pm »
Responsibility is a big theme for the main character, yes.  The situation isn't a Prince-Roger-analogue, but I suppose that much is echoed.
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Offline Hearteater

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #266 on: April 03, 2013, 02:35:16 pm »
"Stranded.  Supplies critically low.  You weren't even supposed to be here today!"

Offline x4000

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #267 on: April 03, 2013, 02:51:13 pm »
"Stranded.  Supplies critically low.  And a core in the wild that must be destroyed before it destroys humanity."
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Offline keith.lamothe

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #268 on: April 03, 2013, 02:55:25 pm »
"Stranded.  Supplies critically low.  And a core in the wild that must be destroyed before it destroys humanity."
Well, before it gets totally away and we don't know what it will do because it could hit us at any time ;)
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Offline x4000

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Re: Exodus Of The Machine Teaser 1
« Reply #269 on: April 03, 2013, 03:02:48 pm »
"Stranded.  Supplies critically low.  And an AI core on the loose that must be destroyed before it escapes."
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