Arcen Games

Games => A Valley Without Wind 1 & 2 => AVWW Brainstorming => Topic started by: x4000 on November 28, 2011, 03:27:55 PM

Title: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: x4000 on November 28, 2011, 03:27:55 PM
So, this should be a fun one.  Keith and I have been planning to have more tombstone scattered throughout the world for a while, but to do that we need to build up a collection of fun/funny/sad/poignant/whatever epitaphs to actually put on the graves.  This seems like the "Tip of the Day" thing in AI War, where really it's something that players might have fun submitting an idea or two and getting their name or handle in the game while they're at it.

Epitaphs can be in any format so long as it seems like something you'd plasibly find on a grave.  Your name or handle could be used as the name of the deceased, or incorporated in some other way into the epitaph itself -- feel free to be creative and put it in there however you like!
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: TNSe on November 28, 2011, 03:45:42 PM
"Here lies 'random name', who levelled up and died to heat since his/her heat suit got unequipped." *cough*
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Martyn van Buren on November 28, 2011, 03:59:51 PM
Particularly poignant one from a memorial stone at my college: "Here lies.... .  He did all that he could."
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Baleyg on November 28, 2011, 04:26:56 PM
"This tombstone is unreadable, blasted clean by the wind."
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Dizzard on November 28, 2011, 04:51:02 PM
I'd attempt this but I'm not really in a funny mood right now.  :P Maybe tomorrow.

"Here lies somebody that died"
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Orelius on November 28, 2011, 05:29:08 PM
Perhaps we should do some epitaphs that teach the player a lesson, like in the tutorial.  Loot items such as potions might also be appropriate.

Here lies <playername>, whose formidable potion stock could not save him from an angry mob of <common mob found in that area> as he could only drink so much liquid in a thirty-second period.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: zebramatt on November 28, 2011, 05:33:30 PM
"I told you I was ill."


"Something in my inventory could have saved me."


"We all told her not to pull that lever."

"1023 - 1055
Trampled by elephants."


"Your princess is in another grave."

"Never found his princess."

"Died doing what he loved:
Telling heroes their princess
Was in another castle."

"His princess was in another castle,
in the sky."


"Lived storm rushing, died shrunk."


"And so close to mastering the shinespark."


"Here lies zebramatt
Who wouldn't take this,
Even though it was dangerous
to go alone."
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: TNSe on November 28, 2011, 05:34:29 PM
"Here lies 'random name', who accidentally changed hotkeybar during an intense fight."
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Gallant Dragon on November 28, 2011, 05:55:28 PM
"Here lies Taihus "The Gallant"
He never did look before leaping"

There seems to be an engraving on the stone of a glyphbearer and an overlord.  The glyphbearer is pulling a lever.  The overlord is laughing.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Echo35 on November 28, 2011, 06:24:33 PM
I'm being reminded of nethack bones files now.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Coppermantis on November 28, 2011, 06:44:35 PM
"Here lies <name>, who's hunger for rubies was not enough to overcome a pair of shadow bats. Now he guards his hoard forever."

"Here lies <name>. He was always mathematically declined. The silly man should have known that twelve is greater than six."

Just a few I came up on the fly, based on two of my real in-game deaths.

Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Teal_Blue on November 28, 2011, 07:12:50 PM
:)

"Here lies Teal Blue... if she had only talked less... and fought more, she might still be with us, alas..."


:)


-Teal


Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: superking on November 28, 2011, 09:02:26 PM
placing them as warnings eg. a gravestone before a sector containing acid water, would be good

"I did not chance to find this mans name, but I found his body among those of many slain monsters..."
- warning of monster rich area (yes, AVWW needs serious sam style monster arenas :D)

"Here lie the shattere remains of Jeon Richards, who did not realise the added consequences of gravity here"
- warning that lava flats have fall damage

"Behind you!"
- when read, the gravestone turns into a vengeful ghost

"I carve with my last breath, dig within for what I died for"
- gravestone that supplies loot when destroyed

"My name. is vengst.I found no-one.only darkness. alone."
- found in deep dark cave

"Here lay the remains of Bill McGrath, who did not realise the infernal nature of these skull totems until much too late."
- found near monster spawns

"I am watching you"
- ??

etc


Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Underfot on November 28, 2011, 10:00:12 PM
<name> Only wounded a dragon

<name> Went swimming
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Cyborg on November 28, 2011, 10:17:53 PM
"Fail."

"Final score: -1"

"Perished from the bird flu."

"All of my worldly treasures are hidden in the lava flats."

"It's cold in here."

Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Hearteater on November 28, 2011, 10:34:09 PM
This tombstone reads: "Blasted Windows key!"  I wonder what that means.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Orelius on November 28, 2011, 10:48:29 PM
"He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of <nearest overlord>."

"Here rests Bors, Gawain, and Ector.  Victims of the beast of Caerbannog."

"Just a flesh wound."

"I got better."

"I am a nigerian prince and in desperate need of your help."

"IF YOU DO NOT WRITE THIS DOWN ON SEVEN MORE TOMBSTONES WITHIN THREE DAYS A MONSTER WILL COME OUT OF YOUR FIREPLACE AND EAT YOU TRUE STORY"
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: @B0FH on November 28, 2011, 10:59:57 PM
"It's only a flesh wound!"

"He's not dead, just a very naughty boy!"

Many Python throw-away lines are useable :)

Do like the idea that some graves when interacted with (not read as that's automagic) do something, like spawn a ghost, provide a stash box, etc
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Olreich on November 28, 2011, 11:28:29 PM
"It looks like the wind threw <name> off the cliff...into a sea of lava"
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: superking on November 29, 2011, 05:25:03 AM
This tombstone reads: "Blasted Windows key!"  I wonder what that means.

nice!

I think internet memes and unrelated one-line references to films or jokes should be wholly avoided (with the exception of this) as they would kill immersion.. the messages probably do need to be at least a bit thematic to the setting  :P
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: TNSe on November 29, 2011, 10:47:41 AM
(found in cave) "As 'random name' ventured too deep, he suddenly ran out of healing items, and also noticed a fatal lack of warp items."
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Underfot on November 29, 2011, 12:45:43 PM
<name>  "I'll trust an Ilari the day I can look it in the eye"

<name> , now was not the time to show mercy.

Cast out and alone; I carved this stone; If you find me out there; Please cover my bones  <name>

<name>  He faced the wind for all of us and died with grit in his teeth.

     In the caves...

<name> , you believed me and followed me.  I'm sorry.

<name>  "There is more"  (This one has killed me several times...)
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: nat_401 on November 30, 2011, 12:19:36 AM
Here lies <name> the Undefeatable, was proven to be lying

Here lies <name>, passed on doing what he loved most, birdwatching in the forest

Here would lie <PC name>, had the Overlord <Overlord name> left something intact to bury

Here lies <PC name>, came up with a cunning plan to ambush the Overlord <Overlord name> and his Luitenants at the same time in the heart of their lair

In memory of <name>, went to see if dinosaurs were as big as people said

In memory of <name>, another soul lost in the storm

Here lies <name>, everybodys friend, such a nice guy the restless dead insisted he join up

Here lies <name> believed an extra sweater would provide protection in an iceage

Here lies <name> believed in drinking lots of water before strolling through the boiling chaos of the Wild Garden

Here lies <name> believed it got colder the further down you traveled
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Martyn van Buren on December 01, 2011, 01:17:44 AM
Would it be worth adding gravestones for named monsters?  They must have some friends if they have a name.

EDIT: I mean just graves as we're talking about here with the mob's name on it.  Not anything crazy and new-feature-y.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Coppermantis on December 01, 2011, 01:31:20 AM
Here lies <name>, last seen taking a well-deserved vacation to the beach. His last words were recorded as "The water must be nice this time of year."
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: KDR_11k on December 01, 2011, 04:37:29 PM
<name> played with fire and got trampled by a rhino.

<name> got thirsty.

Here lie 20 kilos of presumably human flesh.

Joe's discount tombstones and sporting equipment!

Do not trip over tombstone.

This is not an emergency flotation device.

Please do not shrink or seize tombstone.

Made in China.

You do not recognize the symbols engraved on this stone.

Please do not listen to voices coming from this tombstone.

"This is gud plase for sleping!!" The letters look crude as if carved with a claw.

A natural rock outcrop that looks like a tombstone.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: KDR_11k on December 02, 2011, 04:21:10 PM
Caution: Falling tombstones!

Here lies <name>. Tripped over a tombstone and died from head trauma.

Here lies <name>. Mauled by beasts while engraving an epit-

Here lies a tombstone.

Here lies <name>. Please do not step on the grave.

The stone is covered in animal dung. You don't want to wipe that off.

Here lies <na- The rest of the stone is covered in bite marks.

Here li- A loving an- The stone was torn in half by the cataclysm.

There are no words on this stone, just a drawing of a family and an unidentifiable animal.

This stone projects a holographic image of a person you don't recognize.

An enigmatic pattern covers the stone but you don't see any writing.

You spot the words <name> among a series of unfamiliar symbols.

Up close you notice that the tombstone is actually a coffee maker.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: @B0FH on December 03, 2011, 02:42:09 AM
"Should vampyrism set in, please do not stake"
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Mánagarmr on December 03, 2011, 03:23:34 AM
I'm amused how many of these epitaphs are directly Dwarf Fortress related. xD
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: madcow on April 25, 2012, 03:20:01 AM
In the caves:

<name> was eaten by a grue.... we think so at least, it was too dark to tell for sure.


Close to the beginning of the game:

Poor one-eyed Jack, didn't think to use TAB targeting to improve his aim.

Edit: Oops, didn't mean to necro this thread, didn't realize how old it was till I posted.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Mánagarmr on April 25, 2012, 03:28:52 AM
In the caves:

<name> was eaten by a grue.... we think so at least, it was too dark to tell for sure.


Close to the beginning of the game:

Poor one-eyed Jack, didn't think to use TAB targeting to improve his aim.

Edit: Oops, didn't mean to necro this thread, didn't realize how old it was till I posted.
AVWW will likely never die. So there's nothing saying this couldn't be added in a future patch ;)
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Wanderer on April 25, 2012, 03:39:41 AM
Bah, this is a funny thread!

<name> Died trying to find the door and all he found were more graves in the wrong corner.

<name> Just one more room, indeed!

<name> Just wanted to go home.

<name> It's the big green disc thing, in the... nevermind.  Howdy neighbor.

Death is the only way home.

<name> decided he didn't want to live in the settlement anymore when this lovely town was here and abandoned.  So he moved in.  We found him three days later.  Rest in Peace.

Here lies our lumbermancer.  Useless git, always complaining he needed more wood.

<drawn in blood> Heer lie Techzoo... guy. He no make it bak wit me.

Do not pet the Overlord.  He's cranky.

Dragonkind do not make good pets, no matter how much they keep the house warm in an ice age.  Just ask Joe here.

Heh, I could have fun doing this for a while, I'll stop now. :)
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: tigersfan on April 25, 2012, 05:30:31 AM
In the caves:

<name> was eaten by a grue.... we think so at least, it was too dark to tell for sure.


Close to the beginning of the game:

Poor one-eyed Jack, didn't think to use TAB targeting to improve his aim.

Edit: Oops, didn't mean to necro this thread, didn't realize how old it was till I posted.

First of all, I LOVE the grue one. :)

Secondly, this feature came very very close to making into 1.0, but, in the end, we just didn't have time. All that means at Arcen is that it will get there. As you will learn, we update a lot. :)
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Aklyon on April 25, 2012, 10:11:43 AM
<name> played with fire and got trampled by a rhino.

<name> got thirsty.

Here lie 20 kilos of presumably human flesh.

Joe's discount tombstones and sporting equipment!

Do not trip over tombstone.

This is not an emergency flotation device.

Please do not shrink or seize tombstone.

Made in China.

You do not recognize the symbols engraved on this stone.

Please do not listen to voices coming from this tombstone.

"This is gud plase for sleping!!" The letters look crude as if carved with a claw.

A natural rock outcrop that looks like a tombstone.
I like these ones.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: darkchair on April 25, 2012, 12:55:31 PM
"There will never again be someone like you."

"You were right."

"Born to fight, died fighting."

"Here lies a traitor. Be warned."

"Lieutenant <name>, who gave everything for his country."

"Though you never knew me, I'll never forget you."

"Faced with impossible odds, <name> set off anyway."

"We hope you found transcendence out here, it wasn't at home."

"I swear I will avenge you."

"You were an awful husband, but I still cannot thank you enough."


Would it be worth adding gravestones for named monsters?  They must have some friends if they have a name.

EDIT: I mean just graves as we're talking about here with the mob's name on it.  Not anything crazy and new-feature-y.

Choosing to bury the bosses you kill would be a neat little addition to roleplay.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: jabrazelle on April 25, 2012, 03:43:35 PM
Here lies <name>, he missed that day in tactical school.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Drjones013 on April 30, 2012, 09:20:53 PM
Here lies <name>, he missed that day in tactical school.

LOL

"In for a penny, out for a pound, met the investors, now underground."

"Hatfields met the McCoys."

"Damn it Jim, I'm not a bricklayer!"

"There's always room for pudding. Seriously, it'll crawl through the cracks and eat ya."

"Didn't roll his reflex save."

"Couldn't 'make it so.'"

"Kilroy was here."
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Martyn van Buren on May 01, 2012, 02:40:43 PM
"Affliction sore long time she boar,
Phisicians was in vain,
Till Deth released the dear deceased
And left her a remain."
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: madcow on May 01, 2012, 03:51:26 PM
Here lies the early worm.


Poor <name>, we always told him eating fried food would kill him. Fried himself by an esper.


An apple a day did not work.


Help me!!! Those idiots buried me alive.


Imminent Death Ahead
(anybody that played Dark souls should get that one)
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: Wanderer on May 01, 2012, 04:00:35 PM
Imminent Death Ahead
(anybody that played Dark souls should get that one)

"Try Jumping"

;)
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: madcow on May 01, 2012, 04:27:43 PM
Imminent Death Ahead
(anybody that played Dark souls should get that one)

"Try Jumping"

;)

Oh man, i died so many times in the underground city on the way to the second bell thanks to one of those. It really did look like a landing spot that I was just a hair off from making!

After more deaths than I care to admit, I promptly rated that message up :D

Then went on to slowly tightrope walk across several beams above a bottomless pit so I could write "Dead End" in hopes that somebody would die trying to see what was there.
Title: Re: The Epitaph Thread!
Post by: zebramatt on May 02, 2012, 07:05:49 PM
I left notes goading folks into murdering the first shopkeep, to cut off the world's supply of cheap arrows. (Mostly out of spite, I admit, after the bloodlust took a hold and I felled him myself for his sword and a key to the town.)