The Epitaph Thread!

[x4000]

So, this should be a fun one.  Keith and I have been planning to have more tombstone scattered throughout the world for a while, but to do that we need to build up a collection of fun/funny/sad/poignant/whatever epitaphs to actually put on the graves.  This seems like the "Tip of the Day" thing in AI War, where really it's something that players might have fun submitting an idea or two and getting their name or handle in the game while they're at it.

Epitaphs can be in any format so long as it seems like something you'd plasibly find on a grave.  Your name or handle could be used as the name of the deceased, or incorporated in some other way into the epitaph itself -- feel free to be creative and put it in there however you like!

[TNSe]

"Here lies 'random name', who levelled up and died to heat since his/her heat suit got unequipped." *cough*

[Martyn van Buren]

Particularly poignant one from a memorial stone at my college: "Here lies.... .  He did all that he could."

[Baleyg]

"This tombstone is unreadable, blasted clean by the wind."

[Dizzard]

I'd attempt this but I'm not really in a funny mood right now.  Maybe tomorrow.

"Here lies somebody that died"

[Orelius]

Perhaps we should do some epitaphs that teach the player a lesson, like in the tutorial.  Loot items such as potions might also be appropriate.

Here lies <playername>, whose formidable potion stock could not save him from an angry mob of <common mob found in that area> as he could only drink so much liquid in a thirty-second period.

[zebramatt]

"I told you I was ill."


"Something in my inventory could have saved me."


"We all told her not to pull that lever."

"1023 - 1055
Trampled by elephants."


"Your princess is in another grave."

"Never found his princess."

"Died doing what he loved:
Telling heroes their princess
Was in another castle."

"His princess was in another castle,
in the sky."


"Lived storm rushing, died shrunk."


"And so close to mastering the shinespark."


"Here lies zebramatt
Who wouldn't take this,
Even though it was dangerous
to go alone."

[TNSe]

"Here lies 'random name', who accidentally changed hotkeybar during an intense fight."

[Gallant Dragon]

"Here lies Taihus "The Gallant"
He never did look before leaping"

There seems to be an engraving on the stone of a glyphbearer and an overlord.  The glyphbearer is pulling a lever.  The overlord is laughing.

[Echo35]

I'm being reminded of nethack bones files now.

[Coppermantis]

"Here lies <name>, who's hunger for rubies was not enough to overcome a pair of shadow bats. Now he guards his hoard forever."

"Here lies <name>. He was always mathematically declined. The silly man should have known that twelve is greater than six."

Just a few I came up on the fly, based on two of my real in-game deaths.

[Teal_Blue]

"Here lies Teal Blue... if she had only talked less... and fought more, she might still be with us, alas..."





-Teal

[superking]

placing them as warnings eg. a gravestone before a sector containing acid water, would be good

"I did not chance to find this mans name, but I found his body among those of many slain monsters..."
- warning of monster rich area (yes, AVWW needs serious sam style monster arenas )

"Here lie the shattere remains of Jeon Richards, who did not realise the added consequences of gravity here"
- warning that lava flats have fall damage

"Behind you!"
- when read, the gravestone turns into a vengeful ghost

"I carve with my last breath, dig within for what I died for"
- gravestone that supplies loot when destroyed

"My name. is vengst.I found no-one.only darkness. alone."
- found in deep dark cave

"Here lay the remains of Bill McGrath, who did not realise the infernal nature of these skull totems until much too late."
- found near monster spawns

"I am watching you"
- ??

etc

[Underfot]

<name> Only wounded a dragon

<name> Went swimming

[Cyborg]

"Fail."

"Final score: -1"

"Perished from the bird flu."

"All of my worldly treasures are hidden in the lava flats."

"It's cold in here."