Hey there, sorry to hear about the trouble. Most likely the problem in this case is that one of the network adapters or routers is getting flooded with data and rather than buffering it is just dying. There are two ways to fix this:
1. On the host mainly, but also on the client if you want, you can lower the Maximum Transmission Unit (MTU) in the Game settings from 1400 to 1200 or even 1000. If you are having ongoing stuttering during play, then probably what is happening is that your packets are larger than the maximum packet size on some router between the two of you, and so those packets are getting subdivided further, and then not getting put back together properly sometimes, leading to transmission delays, etc. That's not the core problem you're having right now, probably, though, but it's a good thing to know given your current issue.
2. Your main problem right now is based around the amount of data that is being sent across the network in one big batch. That's either flooding the TCP stack improperly (driver bug), or causing some other form of backup somewhere along the line, so it stalls out with just lots of resends and so forth. The way that I put in to get around that is making it so that during these giant data transfers for when you're first syncing a game (either from a loaded state or starting a new game after a lobby -- no other part of the game) is the Network Sync Size on the Game settings tab. The default is N/1200, but clearly that's not working out for you. You might try N/2400 and see if that works, and N/400 if that doesn't, and see if that does. I think it's the latter that will actually do it, but my memory is hazy.
Hope that helps!