Welcome to the forums! To your questions/comments:
Riot Starships: these are generally great for burning out the engines of huge fleets of enemy ships.
Force Fields ("shields" refers to something very different in AI War): I put them up on the front lines planets sometimes, and I almost always have a pair over my home plant. I only sometimes unlock even mark II FFs, though, because of the knowledge cost. Force fields are certainly very useful, but their importance goes way down if you have really effective wormhole defenses in the first place, as nothing is then even getting to your command stations.
I see FFs as being sort of a second line of defense to protect against breakthrough attacks from the AI, and so I only build them where that seems to be a risk or on things that are absolutely critical (over advanced factories or the home command station). Usually that's 5 or less FFs for me, even with two over my home command station. But there's no one way to play, so your way is just as valid! Some people are more defensively-oriented than others.
Tele-Stations: Yeah, they are pretty awesome for sure, but they're only "must have" if you build all your defensive habits around them. They pretty well stink for offense, so if you're used to building effective turret defenses, then you wouldn't have nearly so much interest in tele-stations because you'd prefer something that excels at offense. Granted, they're an awesome unit in general because they can free up knowledge/resources for
other ships to go on offense, but they're by no means the best unit in the game or even close, I wouldn't say.
It's really hard to ascribe a general "best" unit (by design) because they all fit different play styles, etc. My guess is that you're used to them, so a lot of your strategies and general build path really relies on them, so you particularly feel their lack when you play without them. That's sort of the rut that I got into with Age of Empires III, where I really felt the lack of the French economy and musketeers/cavaliers combo every time I played something different. Those sorts of ruts and habits are something that AI War intentionally tries to break players out of. Speaking of...
Controlling Special Units: You can choose your starting unit(s) in the galaxy map in the lobby by clicking those planets, but that's it. Once the game has started, you get random stuff.
Here's why, but it basically stems from the problem you are having with tele-stations, and my problem with the French in AOEIII.
Yes, I view your reliance on tele-stations as a problem, as it essentially shrinks the scope of the game for you by a vast amount. The game is balanced so that tele-stations aren't a killer unit any more than parasites or space planes are (though some people have trouble living without them), but it asks for different strategies when you have (or don't have) specific units in your mix.
If always playing with tele-stations is fun for you, go for it -- I'm not here to tell people how to play, and that's why it lets players pick their starting unit in the lobby. But once the game has started and you've got that initial bit of customization, it makes everyone have to think on their feet and experiment with new units for their own good. You might find some unit that you like even better than tele-stations, and for entirely different reasons, that way. That's the goal, anyway!
Hope that helps!