send your fleet in first, the botnet golem mere seconds later (especially if there are huge numbers of enemy ships piled up at the wormhole). Also make sure to check what kind of enemies are on that planet. If the enemies are Mark V or any other ships with reclamation immunity, the botnet golem is useless.
The regen golems main function is to immediately spawn ships that have died on that planet, but it doesn't have much offensive abilities. So once on a new enemy world, make sure you put it on a safe spot (not near wormholes, guardposts, etc.). Send the golem to the opposite direction of where the enemy ships are coming from and let your fleet do the job of killing enemies. If your ships die fast, de regenerator golem's health will also drop fast (it spawns ships at the cost of it's own health). Using the regenerator golem to assault homeworlds works great for me.
If you want to make effective use of the golems, make sure you back them up with your fleet. Same for Artillery golem. They can only fire once in 30 seconds. Without a fleet to kill off the smaller ships, your golem won't survive long.
So yeah, if you want them to live, you'll have to do that extra bit of micro-ing instead of just sending them through a wormhole and hope things go allright.