Hey all,
I'm the other unfortunate in the debacle described by the OP. Thanks for your replies so far, the situation is making more sense now.
I loaded up our last save before the CPA to give the map a closer look. We had 17 planets, the AI 62 (of an 80 planet map). Our AIP was actually around 275 at this point: I think we'd just taken several worlds, and the AIP had very recently been in the 220 range. The CPA itself was about 2200 ships. As my colleague mentions, there was some floating threat as well.
We did have grav turrets and tractors, as well as gravity drains. I don't believe either of us built Martyrs. I've tinkered with them in the past but didn't grok how they worked or how to utilize them, and have been ignoring them since. Perhaps I should correct that.
This galaxy has been heavily skewed to mark III and IV planets since the beginning, with several mark IV worlds adjacent to our homes. Most of the planets we've neutered or taken have also been high tech - we've not bullied easy worlds by any means. Out of the 62 AI planets when the CPA launched, 18 were mark I or II, with the majority sitting far from our territory. Many were never alerted, having as few as 14 or 15 ships. Doing some math it is easy to see how the AI pulled several hundred mark IV and V assets: There were simply not many low tech ships in the galaxy, a fact exacerbated by the AI preference for stealth battleships, gravity drains, Mini Rams, and other low-cap ship types, as noted above.
Is this just an extremely tough game given the map gen and the AI types we had? I see how in future we should purposefully leave pockets of low tech AI ships for potential CPAs to pull from, and I now better understand the benefit of strategically putting low tech worlds on alert to sap reinforcements. To expand a bit on my associate's questions, are there any other helpful tricks for maps with large numbers of high tech worlds, or when the low tech worlds are inconvenient to reach? Is it just a matter of sending raids to those low-tech worlds to get them alerted? Perhaps we needed to focus more heavily on anti-battleship tech?
Anyway, thanks again for all the great replies, and looking forward to more discussion on the topic. It's very curious, and I must say a little bit frustrating and counter intuitive. I thought it was a positive thing that we'd been neutering a lot, and ignoring all those uninteresting areas!
Always more to learn in AI War, I guess.